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Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Ave. 1 Post Per Annum: I'm A Lean Keen Frickin' Blog-Machine!

1: My Intertubal Regurgitron Belched These Up

(via Sadly,No!)

"I’m not above fighting stupidity with juvenilia. Merely trying to forlornly wave mature wisdom in its face is like casting pearls before pubic-lice."

*

"Remember Rove in 2006, saying he had “THE math” because he just KNEW if they acted enough like winners, they’d pull yet another horseshoe out of their ass? Victory via bullshit. That’s exactly what you’re proposing the Dems do now - when they’re ahead, with no realistic chance of that situation changing from now until November. Ask ol’ Karl how swell that worked out for him - & ask Obama how deeply he regrets not taking Rove’s “free advice” to play dirty against Clinton in the primary.

Again: look at the special elections. The GOP has been playing the same old smear-game, because frankly, it’s all they know how to do anymore … & it’s whelping that sick old bitch of a party a big fat litter of failhounds, over & over & over again - & remember, they’re old pros at it, too. Think about the future implications of deciding to start aping people like Karl Rove. Are you sure that’s who you want to imitate in 2008?

Possibly the best con-job he ever pulled was to convince America that the nimble use of smear-tactics in politics was what won Shrub his throne, & not rigging the vote. Unless you can likewise put a thumb on the electoral scales, I’d recommend staying off that low-road - or you may be waiting a very very long time indeed for the pig to come out of that tunnel.
It’s a cliche for a very good reason: when your enemy is making mistakes, the last thing you should do is interrupt them. What exactly would playing the GOP’s game with a sudden shift to the low-road be? Yup - defeatus interruptus.

I think you underestimate both the level of utter nausea regular folks (who don’t really give a tinker’s damn who’s ahead right now or why) now feel when they see yet more dirty politics, & the extent to which the GOP has had to steal elections they didn’t really win - & not just since 2000, either. You brought up McGovern in the previous thread on this topic … so, what about CREEP’s large grab-bag of dirty-tricks? The reason they worked so well in 1972 was because all those black-bag ops to retrieve the enemy’s “Poison” files (like the Watergate job) got them a bonanza of REAL dirt for them to dish on the Democratic Party, dirt they knew the Dems couldn’t deny without looking stupid - & the scandal was that they got caught doing it.

Vicki Iseman! Vicki Iseman! Vicki Iseman!
Old and tired! Old and tired! Old and tired!
4 more years of Bush! 4 more years of Bush!
100 years in Iraq! 100 years in Iraq!
Private jets! Private jets! Private jets!
Keating 5! Keating 5! Keating 5!

What do these all have in common?
They’re all totally true.
Oh … & there’s PLENTY more where they came from, too.

You don’t need to use the “make nasty shit up” approach to torpedo the GOP this fall - just remind people what a craven kneepad-jockey McCain The Third truly is. For Christ’s sweet sake, the fool’s running against his OWN Senate bill on immigration - & that’s just for starters.

Two advantages over the “creative” tactic: they can’t deny it without looking even dumber than usual … & you don’t come across as Rove-clones while doing it. It just so happens that from what I’m seeing in terms of the 2 campaigns, the truth actually will set you free, at least this time.

The phony-smear rat-fucking approach will be loads of fun … & it’ll be a knife in Obama’s back, right when he’s got the race in the bag. Do you want to have fun, or do you want the other team to lose? Making them go down in flames isn’t much fun at all - until election night. Bullshit rumor-milling is a righteous par-TAY, all the way, until that night … & for 4 years after that, minimum.

Choose wisely."

*

"Amusing “Ultra-Liberal CBC” anecdote time: back in 1991 I was one of the 20 or so folks at the Peace Camp who were camped out on the steps of the Vancouver Art Gallery protesting the outset of Desert Storm … & after a night of alternately being threatened by skinheads & a large contingent of obviously eager-to-hurt cops, the CBC Radio crew came by bright & early in the morning “to get our side of the story” - a few of us were smart enough to tell them to bugger off (politely), but we were overruled. They sat there for over an hour asking stock questions & looking totally bored. As soon as one young lady jokingly blurted “it’s a great excuse not to have to go to school” they acted like they’d just won the lottery, packed up their gear, & promptly scooted back to their studio. Poor kid was heartbroken when she realized what’d just happened. Bonus points for guessing which sound-bite they used that day, eh?"

*

"Abstinence is 100% effective? Tell that to the Virgin Mary….

1. Place the above on bumper-sticker.
2. Attend NASCAR rally, Liberty Lobby meeting or GOP event.
3. Hear the Good Ol’ Boys’ heads exploding like Orville Reddenbacher’s Popcorn.
4. ?????
5. PROFIT!"

*

"Hmm - these FP folks have some, er, UNIQUE taste in brainiacs.
Singapore’s Lee Kuan Yew - “national patriarch” - oh, man, must be some rockin’ groupie-action with THAT job-title, eh? Don’t know what his “Laissez-Faire Procreation” is but it doesn’t sound good. Mayhap not so different from the “breed ourselves into extinction for Jesus” line still being pitched by another “intellectual” - the Pope. Sure, throw him in - why not? Just think of it as yet another version of kissing his ring! Those uber-pimp glamrock outfits of his just SCREAM “towering intellect” … n’est-ce pas?

Putting Francis “Die History Die” Fukuyama on there looks like the intellectual equivalent of a pity fuck. Just as wrong as Bubba Kristol, but with 40% bigger words!

Michael Ignatieff? Oh, PLEASE - deputy leader of a Liberal party so lacking in stones OR savvy that even a greasy nonentity like Stephen Harper makes them look like the Keystone Kops? The ghosts of Pearson & Trudeau are blowing chunks right now.

Christopher Hitchens? Giving atheists a bad rep since 2003 - for money. Throw a few extra rounds of Glenfiddich in his piehole & watch the hilarity ensue!

Naomi Klein? OOPSIES. Too lucid & influential - redacted.

This, ladies & germs, is the lot the REAL elite cocks their ears to when they want premium-grade advice on how to keep the Bread & Circuses Road-Show on tour for another few years. Pitiful.

Christ, they may as well have included Jet Li, Metroid Prime & Chuck Norris while they were at it. Wankers."